Sunday, March 28, 2010

Kids today would not have survived when we did.

If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways... yadda, yadda, yadda.  And I remember promising myself that there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy!  Compared to my childhood you live in a damn Utopia — ­­­you kids today do not know how good you have it!

When I was a kid:
  • we didn't have the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves — in the card catalog!!

  • There was no email!!  We had to actually write somebody a letter — with a pen or pencil!  Then we had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take almost a week to get there!  Stamps were 10 cents!

  • Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us.  As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick my ass!  Nowhere was safe!

  • There were no MP3's, Napsters, or iTunes!  If we wanted to steal music, we had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it ourselves!
    • Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio; and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
  • There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.  We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished; and sometimes the tape would come undone rendering it useless.

  • We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!  If we were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal!

  • There weren't any cell phones either.  If we left the house, we just didn't make a call or receive one — we were actually out of touch with our "friends."  OH MY GOD !!!  Think of the horror... Not being in touch with someone 24/7!!!  And then there's TEXTING.  Yeah, right.  Please!  You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

  • And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!  When the phone rang, we had no idea who it was!  It could be our school, our parents, our boss, a salesman, a killer — we just didn't know!!!  We had to pick it up and take our chances!

  • We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!  We had the Atari 2600 — with games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids.'  Our screen guy was a little square!  We actually had to use our imagination!!!  And there were no multiple levels or screens — it was one screen... Forever!  And we could never win.  The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until we died!  Just like LIFE!

  • We had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!  We were screwed when it came to channel surfing!  We had to get off our ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!!  NO REMOTES!!! In fact, I was the remote for my dad.  "Get up and change the channel."  I had to turn it one channel at a time and wait for him to say "ok."
  • There were only 12 channels to watch anyway.

  • There was no Cartoon Network either! We could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

  • And we didn't have microwaves.  If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove!  Imagine that!

  • And our parents told us to stay outside and play — all day long.  Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort.  And if we came back inside, we were doing chores!  We were doing chores all the time anyway!

  • And car seats - oh, please!  Mom threw us in the back seat and we hung on.  If you were luckily, we got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly; and if our head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See!  That's exactly what I'm talking about!  You kids today have got it too easy.  You're spoiled rotten!  You wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

from an email from my sister Carla

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